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Sunday, February 25, 2007
The Gunny sez...
A group of Marine Corp Officers are standing around talking when a Lieutenant said, "I feel that making love is 80% fun and 20% work."
Captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."
Then a Major says, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work."
They are all contemplating these revelations when a Gunnery Sergeant walks by. The officers call the Gunny over to ask his opinion.
The Major says, "Excuse me, Gunny, we are having a discussion and would like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. Gunny, what is your opinion?"
The Gunny smiles and says, "Sir, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun because if there was any work involved, you would have the enlisted Marines doing it for you."
Captain responded by saying, "No, I think that making love is more work than that. I would say that it is 60% fun and 40% work."
Then a Major says, "No, making love is definitely way more work than that. I would say that it is 20% fun and 80% work."
They are all contemplating these revelations when a Gunnery Sergeant walks by. The officers call the Gunny over to ask his opinion.
The Major says, "Excuse me, Gunny, we are having a discussion and would like your input. The Lieutenant says that making love is 80% fun and 20% work. The Captain says that making love is 60% fun and 40% work. I say that making love is 20% fun and 80% work. Gunny, what is your opinion?"
The Gunny smiles and says, "Sir, you are all wrong. Making love must be 100% fun because if there was any work involved, you would have the enlisted Marines doing it for you."
Labels: Captain, Gunny, Lieutenant, Major, Marine Corps
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Late for Work
He just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day he was 5, maybe 10 minutes late.
He was very conscientious, very sharp and very productive.
This was a second career for the gentleman so the Boss was
in a quandary about what to do about it.
Finally, he decided he needed to talk to him and called him into the office for a chat.
"Bill, I have to tell you, I like your work ethics, but your being late often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know Boss, and I`m working on it."
"Well good. That`s what I like to hear. It`s sort of odd though, your coming in late.
"Bill, I have to tell you, I like your work ethics, but your being late often is quite bothersome."
"Yes, I know Boss, and I`m working on it."
"Well good. That`s what I like to hear. It`s sort of odd though, your coming in late.
I know that you are retired from the Navy.
What did they say if you came in late there?"
"They said, "Good morning, Admiral."
"They said, "Good morning, Admiral."
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
A Marine's Watch
A Marine walks into a Beaufort SC bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman looks at his wrist and remarks, "That's some watch.
I've never seen anything like it before. What is it?"
"I just got this," he replies. "It's a new military issue. It has a small computer chip which has threat detection and situational awareness."
The intrigued woman asks, "What's so special about it?"
The Marine explains, "It can detect any threats within a 50 yard radius and gives me an awareness of my surroundings.
The woman asks, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, according to what it says, you're not wearing any panties...."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Marine taps the face of his watch several times and says, "Aw, hell, the damn thing's an hour fast."
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman looks at his wrist and remarks, "That's some watch.
I've never seen anything like it before. What is it?"
"I just got this," he replies. "It's a new military issue. It has a small computer chip which has threat detection and situational awareness."
The intrigued woman asks, "What's so special about it?"
The Marine explains, "It can detect any threats within a 50 yard radius and gives me an awareness of my surroundings.
The woman asks, "What's it telling you now?"
"Well, according to what it says, you're not wearing any panties...."
The woman giggles and replies, "Well, it must be broken because I am wearing panties!"
The Marine taps the face of his watch several times and says, "Aw, hell, the damn thing's an hour fast."
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