Gunner's Military Humor - USAFNS

I was a brand new pin-stripe WO1 serving with a CWO3 Boatswain on the USS Newport News (CA-148) in late 1967. As we were about to pull into Da Nang harbor to take a two star admiral and his staff aboard (CTG 77.7.3 if I recall correctly). Originally, the plan was to highline the admiral and his staff aboard. But shortly after setting the highline detail, a low lying fog obscured visibility. The highline was originally set with the ship at General Quarters. Then, a second decision was made to fly the admiral aboard via heliocopter. For the unititiated, the Ship's boatswain is in charge of Repair 1 (damage control) while the ship is at GQ. He is incharge of all highlines, and he was also the helo Landing Signal Officer who uses the paddles to assist the pilot in landing the helo.

CWO3 Chris Schmidt was suppose to be in three different places at the same time - Repair 1(below decks), OIC of highline detail (main deck forward) and Landing Signal Officer (main deck aft-'fantail' for you sailors). CWO2 C. F. David, the Captain's Secretary had an office (also his GQ Station) near the wardroom later related the following story:

"I had slipped into the wardroom for a cup of coffee, when the Boatswain came into the wardroom in his rain slicks, dripping water all over everything, and plopped into his favorite chair in the corner of the wardroom. He sat there staring into space for about ten minutes when he muttered 'They will have to decommission the ship and run the crew off onto the pier to get this mess untangled.' "

True Story - Gunner

Labels: Boatswain, C. F. David, Chris Schmidt, CWO2, CWO3, Da Nang, highline, Landing Signal Officer, LSO, USS Newport News (CA-148), WO1