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Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Veteran's Bar
Four retired Navy Chief's are walking down the street window shopping. Then they turn a corner and see a sign that says "Veterans Bar" over thedoorway of an entry into an establishment that doesn't look all that well kept up. They look at each other then go in. On the inside, they realize inthis case, they could judge the 'book by it's cover'.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There seems to bea fully stocked bar so the men all ask for a martini. In short time the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis - shaken not stirred and says, "That'llbe 40 cents, please." The four Chiefs stare at the bartender for a moment then look at each other - they can't believe their good luck. They pay the40 cents, finish their martinis and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please." They pay the 40 cents but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent lessthan a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martini s as good as these for a dime a piece?"
The bartender replies, "No doubt you've noticed the decor in here. And the outside ain't nothin' to write home about. I don't waste money on thatstuff. But, here's my story. I'm a retired Master Chief Boatswain's Mate and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $45 million and decided to open this place for real veterans. Every drink costs a dime -- wine, liquor, beer, all the same."
"Wow. That's quite a story." says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the endof the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man finished his martini and, gestured at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "Oh, those are retired Marines. They're waiting for happy hour."
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There seems to bea fully stocked bar so the men all ask for a martini. In short time the bartender serves up 4 iced martinis - shaken not stirred and says, "That'llbe 40 cents, please." The four Chiefs stare at the bartender for a moment then look at each other - they can't believe their good luck. They pay the40 cents, finish their martinis and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please." They pay the 40 cents but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They've each had two martinis and so far they've spent lessthan a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martini s as good as these for a dime a piece?"
The bartender replies, "No doubt you've noticed the decor in here. And the outside ain't nothin' to write home about. I don't waste money on thatstuff. But, here's my story. I'm a retired Master Chief Boatswain's Mate and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $45 million and decided to open this place for real veterans. Every drink costs a dime -- wine, liquor, beer, all the same."
"Wow. That's quite a story." says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the endof the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man finished his martini and, gestured at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "Oh, those are retired Marines. They're waiting for happy hour."
Labels: bartender, Boatswain's Mate, Marines, martini, Master Chief, Navy Chief, Retired Chiefs, Veteran Bar
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Old Country Preacher's Son
An old southern country preacher from Georgia had a teenage son named David and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whisky, and a Playboy magazine.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects: a Bible, a silver dollar, a bottle of whisky, and a Playboy magazine.
I'll just hide behind the door," the old preacher said to himself, "and when he comes home from school this afternoon, I'll see which object he picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be OK, But if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be OK, But if picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard, and, Lord, what a shame that would be. And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room. The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a Navy Chief".
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
"Lord have mercy," the old preacher disgustedly whispered, "he's gonna be a Navy Chief".
Labels: Bible, Centerfold, Navy Chief, old preacher, whiskey
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